muchograndelerv (muchograndelerv) wrote in gayrelationship,
muchograndelerv
muchograndelerv
gayrelationship

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Selfish?

Hi, my name is Rene and I just joined...like two seconds ago lol.

I'm 19, and I've been in this relationship with this guy for almost two years. He's the sweetest guy I know, and I love him more than what's good for me. lol. He got me out of drugs, and the terrible life I was living. I owe so much to him. We're so deeply in love with each other...and that's why I feel bad about posting this.

When we have sex, it starts off like this:

Kissing, touching, getting naked. I go down on him, or he goes down on me. Some rimming, hand jobs. Then I top him or he tops me. End of story.

Before I met him, I was a bottom. Like, ALWAYS the bottom. I don't /mind/ topping, but I'd rather be the one getting fucked. I'm much smaller and skinnier than he is- it just feels off when I top him. =/

But what I'm reaaally trying to get to is- we basically have vanilla sex. I've hinted countless times about being more daring and trying some new stuff. Like, me dressing up as one of his fantasies (eg cop, fireman, librarian??? I dunno. LOL), or light bondadge, or JUST dominating me? Am I really asking alot? Am I being totally selfish and unfair? I mean this with no sarcasim. I want to please him, but I want to be pleased, too. He just won't give in. I just want something /different/. Sex feels so rehearsed now, and I'm so scared of boring him. He seems content, but who knows? I'm used to being thrown onto the bed, getting my hair pulled and just letting go. I have to hold back now so I don't scare him.

Can somebody give me some advice? Is there some way I can coax him into being more daring, or am I just being a selfish prick and need to shut up? Like I said, I'm deeply in love with him. I don't want to leave him. But sex is boring and feels more like a chore. Can I please him while getting myself off too?

Sorry for this long post... =/ I tend to babble.
Love,
-R
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